How'd we wind up here?

My life is pretty darned good.  There are rough days here and there, but even those are generally pretty mild and usually have something to do with wanting to ring a neck belonging to my husband or one of my children.

There are only two things that really drive me crazy consistently: my weight and our debt.  I keep having days where I get down about one or both of these things and think to myself "How'd we get into this mess?"

So to get it out of my system, I'll write it down.  Usually once I get it out, its easier for me to let something go, so here goes.  First, the weight.

I blame Dylan.  The summer I got married, I gained about 10 pounds.  Lots of indulgence, very little exercise.  It happens.  This was fine with me, since I was still about a size 9, which with my build isn't all that bad.  I got pregnant shortly thereafter, and maintained a fairly healthy weight gain during my pregnancy (this was difficult in Hawaii, where pretty much all the healthy food there is shipped in from off island--almost all produce--and we were quite poor at that point, by American standards).  I gained just shy of 40 pounds, with just over 8 pounds being baby.  I lost 25 pounds having the baby, and then the other 15 just sat there for 6 months.  Between 6-8 months post partum, I lost the remaining weight and was back to the size/weight I was before I got pregnant with Keilana.  I was feeling good.  

A few months later, I was pregnant with Dylan.  For the first six months or so of that pregnancy, I gained very little weight--it was all baby.  Then, over Thanksgiving break, I felt the baby do this massive shift (he finally turned upside down) and for the remainder of the pregnancy he was sitting on my sciatic nerve. Doing anything hurt tremendously. Doing nothing hurt.  Needless to say, my activity level (which to this point had been quite high--daily walks up and down the SLO hills, daily walks to the park with Keilana) nose-dived.  At the same time, my sweet husband kept trying to comfort me by bringing home ice cream.  And cookies.  And chocolate.  And not wanting me to have to make dinner every night, frequently brought home dinner.  From Carl's Jr. Or Taco Bell. Or McDonald's.  Or Panda Express.  With that pregnancy, I gained 50 pounds.  Barely more than 8 pounds was baby.  

That would've even been tolerable.  But (big confession) after Dylan was born I struggled mightily with Post partum depression for 9 or 10 months.  My motivation to do anything was almost nonexistent.  I was living miles from town with no car in a tiny, way too hot house, which didn't help.  My interest in healthy eating was nonexistent.  I actually gained weight after he was born.  

Anyway, I snapped back to my old self long about Novemberish, but by then I had a LONG way to go, weight wise.  I lost some of it, but not nearly as much as I would've liked, then just plateau.  Sarah and her kids moved in with us, and between the stress of having 7 people living in our house and Sarah's delicious cooking and baking, my weight didn't ever go down much.  Things just kept getting busier and busier, and so I never developed a routine, which is necessary for my discipline-challenged self in order to lose weight.  Then I got pregnant with Kylie.  When they weighed me on the way to the delivery room, I was 26 pounds heavier than when I got pregnant.  Not bad for a 9.5lb+ baby.  Within 2 weeks, I was at my prepregnancy weight (though not size yet--my belly still had some retracting/tightening up to do).  I'm now slightly lighter than when I got pregnant.  But I still have 20 pounds to go, so please, ask me how I'm doing, mock me, put rude comments on pictures I post of myself.  I need the motivation.

The debt.  Oh the debt.  So we've got a $200,000+ mortgage.  Necessary evil for a great blessing.  I can deal with that.  We've got til the end of the year left on our very sensible car that we bought because our car broke down and it would've cost more to fix it than we owed on it. I can live with that.  $50,000 to Wells Fargo for 2 1/2 degrees and 2 beautiful years in SLO. I can deal with that.  But the other debt. Yes, there is other.  That's the debt that always makes me go, "How?  How did this happen?"  And then I remember.  In twelve months time, we had to buy a new refrigerator and washer and dryer.  And a house.  And take in a family. And pay for two root canals/crowns on infected teeth.  And end up with our son taking a trip to an out of town ER and spending 5 days in the hospital down south.  And had to go to three out of state weddings, none of which we could bear to miss.  And AFTER all of that, Doug got his change of position/raise.  We did all that making tens of thousands of dollars less than we do now.  That's how that happened.  But we are making progress.  One of the biggest bills should be paid off by April/May.  Then there's just a bit left and hopefully by the end of next year, we will have lots of available credit again and be able to buy a bigger car without breaking our budget.  

Its been frustrating, but the Lord has taken care of us.  We've never missed a car payment, a mortgage payment or anything like that.  We've always had plenty to eat and money to buy diapers.  And we've been able to have a little fun here and there with very little cost to us.  Lets hope He got all the big stuff out of the way for a while.  Wish us luck!