Thursday, August 22, 2013

Deep breath. . .

On Monday, I start school (I start a week before the older kids and two weeks before Head Start, but I think we've got the logistics worked out, thanks to some good friends).  I never wanted to do school full-time while I still had littles home during the day, or have an outside job while I still had kids at home, period.  Part of me keeps wanting to panic, but every time I pray about it, I feel calm and at peace--this is a good plan, time to get school done.  This semester and the next I will only be gone, including driving time, about 20 hours a week.  Nearly all of that time, the older kids will be in school, and the younger kids will be either at Head Start (in Kylie's case) or in the home of a good friend that I trust.

I have fallen into my old habit of trying to see/anticipate/plan for everything down the road for the next 5 years (and, believe me, I'm not good at that, but I keep doing it anyway), and my husband is thankfully here to remind me that we can take life one semester (or one week) at a time.  I'm trying to figure out how to navigate this semester while also trying to figure out what my schedule is three semesters from now.  I've got to slow down a bit.

Despite the logistical hurdles and the time demand, this semester should be pretty fun.  My science and math credits had expired, so I'm taking a human cadaver Anatomy and Physiology class again.  I enjoy learning, I enjoy being in a classroom with other people who enjoy learning, so I need to remember that and focus on it.

But, if I want to spend the drive to Butte crying once in a while, because I have to kiss my 2 1/2 year old and 4 1/2 year old goodbye, that's OK, too.  For the next 3 years, I'll have to drive to Butte and sit in a classroom or work in a lab for a few hours most days and do lots of homework when the kids are in bed, but hopefully after that I should be able to return nearly all of my time and focus to being with my kids and helping them to learn and develop (don't get me wrong, I don't plan on taking my primary focus off of that the next 3 years, its just that I won't have other things pulling at me in the back of my mind when school is done), with the added assurance that if anything ever happens to their dad, I will be able to provide for them without missing a beat.

Wish us luck.  Its gonna be a long 3-5 years.


Nate and Annah Butterfield said...

Good luck! If it feels like the right thing to do that means you can totally do it! I work in the mornings 4 days a week and there have been days I have cried on my way to work. It's worst when he's sick or when he asks me to stay home with him BUT I think that he has benefited from our arrangement. I honestly think it's harder on me than on him. You really can do this. Plus, school sounds exciting! You really can do it!

Kaytee Postma said...

You're going to do great! I'm kinda picturing you on the front row of the classroom answering the question before the teacher has even asked! "I know! I Know!"