I am from bedtime stories
and nightly family dinners,
from wood-paneled walls and green shag carpet
from crippling shyness, four dozen cousins, and sharing a bedroom with four siblings.
I am from the base of the Garden Wall, mountain lakes and fields of daisies
from Farina and Reservation politics
from cheap beer around Friday night campfires
and after-church, roast beef dinners
on Sunday afternoons.
I am from the thrill of unexpected snow days
and canoe rides under full moons.
I am from bare feet in fresh-cut grass,
and Dad's gardens all around.
I am from long afternoons
floating irrigation canals
on stolen inner tubes.
I am from spontaneous
and unexpected family gatherings,
Thanksgiving-weekend
Christmas tree cutting trips:
and Mom's homemade cinnamon rolls afterward.
I'm from stubborn independence
and laughing too loud.
I am from Snye'lmn,
this valley surrounded by mountains.
I am from dirt roads and potholes and
too many wakes.
I'm from summers in teepees and old trucks
that run just well enough
to drive teen independence.
I am from frozen pipes in February
and dreams of air conditioning in August.
I'm from making due, and dreaming of more
from grandfathers
who made their livings with trees and horses,
from women who were always mothers first,
but never solely.
I am from grandmothers' quilts,
my grandfather's logging truck,
My other grandfather's NP brand
I'm from overstuffed bookshelves,
doing too much,
and the calm productivity
of midnight hours.
Remembering, Holding
For Valerie
Promise? you asked when I said I loved you
one summer in Coronado. And I did, on my knees
if that's what you wanted, on the boulders
at Imperial Beach. You looked away, across an ocean
before saying "yes", no one else seeing
how we could be.
Friend, we found ways to dream
each other into whatever the world did, returning to
each other again and again, our holding
making of us more than the world:
our mothers and brothers and sisters came
to the Holy Family Hospital the crisp October
morning when Christa cam, our new little family making
family of them all. I wondered how she knew
waking from a sound sleep to cry whenever
you traveled a shout away, unconsolable
til you came back. "You'll never see me weak,"
she later learned to think, and you quietly arranged
what she needed, watching her grow strong.
And then Gwen, unable to walk, unwilling to crawl
running on all fours, a gentle steam roller, sure
of herself and demanding that the world be right.
And the world around her rightened itself, sweet
as the rules you taught her, intelligent and good
as laughter or music or food.
Eldon, the agile middle child, lazing in possibility
or climbing impossible ladders toward the sun
graceful as a young god, wanting to shower himself
into a moment as perfect as the moment creation
began, all glory and thunder and light. And you
waited with him, trusting the slow gathering of powers.
Michael and Becky, "attack babies"
prowling for hugs and laughter, his flaming
enthusiasm and her quiet insight an unlikely rightness,
their twinned laughter a gentle background,
their difference a way of fitting.
The moment you said yes held this
quarter-century, itself a moment
beginning.
Ah, the gift for words! They have both captured so much so wonderfully here, that I won't ruin it by trying to add unnecessary lines myself.
1 comment:
Wow- those are both beautiful! I came away from Christa's thinking about your mom's cinnamon rolls and how yummy they are... I'm starting to salivate!
I love the words your dad wrote to your mom. If someone reads this, never having met either of the two, they can still see all the love and friendship there. And I laughed that he called you and Michael the attack babies! ha ha :)
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