With Keilana, I didn't want an epidural because I am horribly resistant to the idea of not being able to feel and control any part of my body, let alone huge chunks of it. It really freaks me out very badly. I think this fear surfaced sometime around when I had a grand mal seizure--the condition I was in waking up was one of the most strange and disconcerting states of consciousness there is, I'm sure. I felt oddly disconnected from my body, like I wasn't in control of it (not to mention the scary feeling of being disconnected from my own brain!). It was really scary for me, and ever since I have been very averse to the thought of being totally numb, even when facing labor pains (because I am, of course, crazy).
I got lucky with both my first two. With Keilana, I was at about a 6 or so when I asked for pain relief. The doctor wasn't at the hospital, so by the time he got there I was about at an 8, then had to set the thing up (the worst part of labor for me--my contractions are 90 seconds long, hugely intense, with no break whatsoever in between and you want me to curl up in a ball and be perfectly still? Rrriiiiiggghhht. Sure.) The anesthesiologist there was awesome and assured me that even though he did a traditional epidural he could do a very low dose so that I could still maintain control of my legs, even though my mobility would be limited. He delivered. I could shift myself around in bed and use my legs a bit, and by the time I needed to push, enough had worn off that I could feel my contractions enough to know when I needed to push.
With Dylan, I got an low dose epidural when I was at like 4.5, and wondered why I hadn't the first time! I was out of pain, but was completely in control of my body the whole time, could feel my contractions all the way through, got right out of bed on my own once they cleaned up the baby, and in the mean time was able to have relaxed, genial conversations with Doug, the nurses and my mom. It was a delightful experience.
Now I'm probably going to have to choose to face going all the way through labor without the relief :( or face my somewhat irrational fear of numbness. Having hit that high-intensity-no-break-in-contractions-horrendous-pain part before, I'm kind of leaning toward the latter, but how I wish I didn't have to. Heaven forbid I have to actually experience the pain of labor full force! This is modern America for crying out loud, where we have drugs for everything!! Grrrr. . . .
I want to bring my baby home next week, I just don't want to have a baby next week.
4 comments:
Go for the epidural! There is no reason to be in that much pain and I hear that it wears off after a couple of hours.
I had an epidural when Kaden was born. I had went 12 hours without anything. They gave me just enough to numb the pain. I could still easily move myself around in the bed. Once they moved me to the OR for the emergency c-section, they upped the dose. At that point, I couldn't feel anything from my chest down. Even with that high dose, after an hour or so, I could feel enough to move around in bed again...well, as much as I could after having major surgery.
I felt the exact same way with Hayden. The thought of being totally numb for a long time freaked me out. For me they told me it was either full epidural or nothing. By the time I asked for an epidural, I was already at 9cm, and they said it was way too late, but they offered me a spinal block. I don't know the technical name for it, but I guess they use it quite often for c-sections? It was just a single shot, which took about 10 seconds, which was still way too long for me to stay still! I didn't have anything in me after that. I could still move my legs if I really put my mind to it. I did still freak out a little. I almost started hyperventilating when I couldn't move and I needed to. Being numb freaks me out. Anway, the spinal block was awesome. It was sooo much better than what I hear about even the best of epidurals. And they said that it is very consistant, unlike epidurals, where the outcome really just depends on the anesthesiologist's skills. Anywho- they don't really seem to "advertise" these when I've asked, but if you ask someone who knows and can make decisions, I bet they'd offer it.
So.....yah I've had both my kids without drugs of any kind...so i'm not sure what to tell ya bout the epidural except that the main reason I didn't get one with kieona was I was scared with people messing with my spinal cord...But I totally have to agree with you on wanting to be able to have the baby with out actually physically "having" the baby...if you understand what I said who knows....But goodluck! ;)
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