Monday, September 28, 2009

Weekend Nourishment

Saturday morning we dropped our kids and our pooch at Amanda's house and headed up to Fresno. A couple in our ward were receiving their Endowment and getting sealed to each other and to their kids.

It was wonderful just to be in the temple again. Its been almost a year since the last time we did a session (I know, I know. I'll work on that). I needed that so much. The last six months have been a real struggle for me in many ways. Now that I see that in writing, I know how ridiculous it is. I know how easy my life is, how miniscule my problems and challenges really are, but there it is. I think I resented that I got mule-kicked in April and sucker-punched in June. Feeling like a single parent for much of the last 9 months has added to that stress a bit. [Don't get me wrong--my husband rocks. Truly. He's such a fantastic dad and his kids adore him. He's had a lot on his plate this year, however, so I've kinda gotten used to just being on my own with the kids more often than not]. I needed those few hours where I just left that all outside. To feel completely at peace--no to-do list in the back of my mind while I do something else (like blog), no nagging feelings of guilt or inadequacy or embarrassment. Instead I felt cozy and complete. Despite my late night the previous evening and then an early morning, I felt recharged. We lingered in the Celestial Room long enough to watch all the family members and friends greet the couple as they came in, to absorb some of that joy and love.

Watching Jose and Diana at that alter brought back such tender memories of my own sealing. Sitting in a room surrounded by strangers, the only face I truly knew was that of my new husband kneeling across the altar from me. For all the challenges that came with that day for me, what I felt above all else was an absolute certainty that I had made the right choice and that no other moment in my life had been or ever would be as important as that moment I was in right then. I saw that look on Diana's face as she kneeled across from her husband, overflowing with love and gratitude and humility. Their two very young boys were brought in, in their little white shirts and pants, looking as adorable as always. The grandmas helped hold the boys at the altar and place their hands on their parents' hands as the sealer bound their family together. I was grateful for the reminder that this is what its all about. For all the busyness and successes and challenges that occur in our lives, sometimes we lose the perspective of what we're doing it all for. This life is about building successful, eternal families, bound together by love and Priesthood power. The rest is just details. I love my husband, and I love my babies. I know I say that a lot, but I can't ever say it enough.

While we were waiting for the family, everyone was trying to figure out logistics in the sealing room. Most of the family of the couple speaks little or no English, and the sealer spoke no Spanish, so bi-lingual friends were placed strategically around the room in order to translate all that was happening. The next day, I was teaching the lesson in Relief Society (as I always do on the 4th Sunday), going back and forth between reading in English and reading in Spanish, having a bilingual sister in the RS presidency translating all the comments back and forth. The Lord admonishes repeatedly to strive for unity, to be of one heart. I have often been struck by the unity in our ward. There are many hurdles in our way, a language barrier being one of the biggest, with nearly half of our ward speaking primarily or only Spanish and the other half speaking primarily or only English, with a few, blessed bilingual folks helping the rest of us along while we learn. But if unity is truly what you desire and what you're seeking, the Lord will help you along. There is a wonderful Spirit in our ward, a tremendous unity in spite of the challenges. Or perhaps because of them.

Those who speak Spanish are trying very hard to learn English and many of us who speak English are trying hard to learn Spanish, and it requires quite a lot of humility on both sides. To open your mouth and attempt to speak in a language that is not your own, particularly in large groups of people, is quite intimidating. Last year, in a hugely inspiring moment, Antonio Vega (nearly every other Spanish-speaking member of the ward is somehow connected to him--he was one of the first converts), who grew up in Michoacan, stood in front of a very, very packed congregation and humbly bore his testimony. In English. He didn't let a fear of sounding stupid or mispronouncing something or using the wrong word stop him. He wanted everyone in the room to hear his testimony in his words and his voice, so he bore it in both English and Spanish. That brave and humble example was a watershed moment for our ward. Instead of letting that language barrier hobble us, we have tried harder to reach out to one another, to truly communicate with one another and to create one cohesive ward unit, not two semi-whole pieces of a ward.

After all, unity is a result of heeding the Spirit, and the Holy Ghost communicates with individual after the manner of their own speech, and their own understanding. The Comforter communicates to hearts, and so through him our hearts may be made one.

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