Battle Fatigue

"We know well that it is a small group of people who do most or all of the work and cover most or all of the expenses.  And it is the nature of organizing to ask the most of these people, even if they have just been asked.  That is not merely because it is the easiest thing to do, though undoubtedly that is part of it.  It is also based on an understanding of possibilities.  There is more to be gained from a single visit to an overused spring than from the drilling of countless blind wells.  And this is fine when we are talking about groundwater, which has no feelings.  But what of people?  I have seen far too much fatigue among those who want to do good.  Not merely among those who do little and are seldom asked, but among those who are most dedicated and always volunteer.  We all have limits. . .Build time into the schedule for doing nothing, or at least nothing that seems immediately productive."

~Ford

I've been thinking a lot about personal limits lately.  In work, school, church, personal relationships.  I think Ford is wrong (well, about 180* away from right, actually), about a lot of things, but in this thing he was correct.  We all have limits, and we have to be realistic about them.

I don't think that when we're asked we should say no because we feel burned out, particularly if we have made covenants.  But sometimes we have to step away from something and come back to it later.  Sometimes if we keep pushing through and trying to do something when we're too tired, we make it worse.

This is especially hard to do when we are talking of working with people.  To walk away from someone for a short time because we simply don't have the energy and stamina to keep being a good friend/daughter/sister/etc. can feel like abandonment.  But sometimes (unless we are speaking of a spouse or our own children), walking away for a moment is the best thing you can do for both of you. 

When we're fatigued, we tend to say either more or less than we intend, and in a much different way than it sounds in our mind, often causing hurt or offense or frustration where none was intended.  What in our hearts is concern and worry can come out sounding a great deal like anger or even malice.  When we start feeling anger toward someone we have tried to be a good friend or servant to, rather than anxious concern for their well-being, perhaps it is time to step away for a moment and take a breather.  I can remember an argument I had with a dear friend of mine where I had let my frustration mount and mount until things I should've said as gentle reminders were instead hurled out as angry insults. To this day, a good 7 years later, I still deeply regret that afternoon.  Even our well-intentioned efforts often come off as sloppy or lazy or half-hearted if we are too tired to give it our all.  Once in a while, doing nothing for just a moment can be the most productive thing we do.

I have a to-do list that never ends, it seems like.  When I sit on the computer chatting with friends, I'm usually making lists, doing some "research" and calendering at the same time.  Life is busy, with children, jobs, callings, friends, family and all the rest.  It can make taking time to rest quite a guilt-ridden prospect.  But as much as we are striving to be Christlike and ought to be striving toward being long-suffering and tireless, the Lord Himself understands better than anyone that no matter how much we want to be like Him, we are not him.  That's why he told us that "it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength".  

So last week I tried an experiment.  Last week, I got out one of the books my sister-in-law had thoughtfully sent me for my birthday and began to read.  I sat and read for pleasure for two hours.  In the middle of the day.  The house wasn't clean.  The kids weren't asleep.  I had phone calls to make.  I had some errands that probably could've been done.  There were appointments I probably should've made.  But I was tired.  We've been run ragged trying to get done all that needs to get done, and for months I've been sick and exhausted.  I've hardly read anything because any time I sat down to read, it was after I'd finished everything else that I felt like I had to get done that day, so I'd fall asleep.

But I noticed the rest of the week, even though I hadn't gotten any more sleep, I wasn't quite as tired.  I was more patient with my kids.  I was more willing to sit down and make those phone calls (a task that I hate).  That two hour break made a huge difference in my whole week.

I still firmly believe that more often than not the way to beat fatigue, blues, worry and doubt is to, as President Hinkley was fond of saying, "Forget yourself and go to work."  But if we are trying, honestly making an effort to do that and we're just getting a little battle fatigue, forgetting the to-do list for an afternoon is, just once in a great while, a good idea too.  Especially if you can sneak in a nap.