Although I'm sure everyone else in the room thought it was a political debate, it was clear to me from early on that to Doug (and myself, though I was mostly a passive observer) it was much bigger than that. To Doug, it was about individual responsibility, both for immigrants (legal or illegal) as well as for individual with whom he was speaking.
I understand the frustration, politically and socially, of being very obviously in the minority in a supposedly English-speaking nation. I live in a town that is 90% Hispanic, and I hear more Spanish during a typical day out than I do English, and that can be difficult at times. Though my Spanish isn't much better than their English, that has not stopped me from having fun, genial "conversations", if so few words can be termed such, with other moms at the park or people in the store, or customers at work, or members of my ward who speak little to no English.
I do have trouble with people dismissing the issue too lightly, without much real thought of what it means to people rather than statistics. During the course of that conversation, what it meant on individual level to have everyone who comes here, even legally, learn English was never truly discussed because as far as she was concerned they must learn English, learn it now, and that's the end of it. Tijuana was equated to all of Mexico and having taken trips there was akin to understanding Mexico. And, most disheartening of all, Mexicans in general were dismissed as having a "piss poor culture".
First of all, equating Tijuana with the rest of Mexico is like a foreigner coming here, only visiting poor parts of New Orleans and then saying they understand American culture. Most of the immigrants in our area come from the state of Michoacan, which is nowhere near Tijuana, geographically or socially. It is a state that claims some of the most beautiful cities in Mexico, as well as being highly agricultural--rivaling the Central Valley in both quantity and variety of crops produced. Nevertheless, being part of Mexico it is plagued by the same economic trouble as much of the rest of the country, so many of its citizens have come here, and they have brought their culture with them. And living amongst and engaging in that culture on a regular basis with a great deal of first generation immigrants I can tell you from experience that it is a very rich culture, full of beauty, respect and good values. Many of the Mexican families I know are better families, more tight-knit, hard-working and morally centered than many white American families I know. Every culture has its flaws, to be sure, so if that's all you're looking for that's all you see. Particularly if you feel that those flaws negatively impact your life somehow.
For Doug and myself, it was personal. As soon as the words and attitudes on the other side got angry and demeaning (which didn't take long into the conversation), I started thinking of all the people I know and love and work with who have come here legally and do not speak English, but who are beautiful people who contribute a great deal to their communities while raising good families. It tore at my heart and made me angry to hear them lumped in and dismissed so thoughtlessly and ignorantly.
The first people I thought of were Antonio and Angelica Vega. The first time I talked to them, they impressed me. The power of their words and understanding were not diminished through the casual interpretation of a 14-year-old boy. They came here years ago in an honest effort to provide a better life for their children. Their younger children know only the United States (I have their daughter in Young Women with me this year), but after being here that long, they still know very little English. That is not because of a lack of desire or any kind of stubbornness or self-righteousness on their part. Its because they came here as adults, when the task of learning a new language is extraordinarily more difficult than in youth, and since they arrived have both been working very hard to support their family and have been busy raising their children--where and when do they find the energy and time for the monumental task of learning a new language? What Doug's sparring partner did not understand was that we agreed with her that every immigrant who comes here does have the personal responsibility to learn English. What we don't agree with is that there should be some government-mandated time frame put on that task with penalties attached for failing to meet that requirement, because we believe it is an issue of personal responsibility, not government regulation, and we have seen first hand what that means to people on an individual level, even for those who are willing and anxious to learn English.
Yesterday was one of the most powerful Sacrament Meetings I have ever attended in my life. How I wished that our friend had been sitting with us to witness what we witnessed, to feel what we felt. The previous day there had been 7 baptisms in our ward, and so in Sacrament Meeting there were 7 confirmations. Six of those were converts, all Mexican. After witnessing the beautiful, simple confirmations we had one of the most powerful testimony meeting I have ever had the blessing of being a part of. Many of the testimonies that were borne were given in Spanish, with our Bishop (a white American who has lived in South America a couple times) acting as translator at the pulpit. The feeling of love and unity and the Spirit in that room was incredible as so many sincere and powerful testimonies were born. You know its a good meeting when it goes nearly 20 minutes over and you don't care, or hardly even notice.
The last person to stand was none other than the one who first crossed my mind on Friday evening: Antonio Vega. I must tell you just a few more things about the Vegas before going on. I have scarcely ever passed by either Antonio or Angelica without being flashed a big, genuine smile. They are two of the happiest, hardest working and most humble individuals that I have ever known. I have the privilege of working with them at both Church and work, and they seem to be in a perpetual state of hope and good cheer. All of those convert baptisms last weekend were in some way related to them. When Antonio stood behind the pulpit (all 5'2" of him), he turned to the Bishop and though I couldn't hear what he said, his actions were clear: he held up his hand and shook his head, indicating no translator would be necessary. "I'm going to do it in English," he told Kindon. He then proceeded to bear his testimony first in English and then in Spanish. Though the testimony he bore in English was much shorter, it was no less sincere, powerful or complete than the one he bore in Spanish.
Everyone in the room who knew Antonio (which was just about everyone in the room) was in tears. It was a perfect example of the kind of determination, courage, strength and humility for which he is so fondly regarded by those who know him. It is never an easy thing to stand in front of a roomful of people and speak sincerely about the things you feel most deeply, but to willingly do so in a language not your own so that everyone in the room can hear and understand your testimony in your own voice displays a kind of humility (and work ethic) that I hope to someday cultivate. It was a laborious and probably at times tedious task for him to learn enough English to clearly express his love of the Gospel and the Lord, but he did it because he understands better than most the idea of personal responsibility. That is why, despite being born with less privilege and opportunity than most people in the US, he is happy and determined--because he knows that what happens in his life is up to him.
C.S. Lewis wrote that "There are two kinds of people; those who say to God, 'Thy will be done,' and those to whom God says, 'Alright then, have it your way'." Guess which group is happier? Antonio and Angelica are people who believe that if they say, "Thy will be done" and then get up and get to work to make it happen, the Lord will provide, and they are steadily proving themselves right every day.
Individual responsibility is something that I think about a lot, both for myself and for humanity in general. It is the crux of the Gospel. I heard a friend say once that the Atonement is conditional. That is true to a certain extent, but we impose the conditions upon ourselves. This weekend I frequently had cause to think about it even more. My lesson with the girls this week was on agency. We are free to choose, but each choice, good or bad, has consequences. When we make good choices, we generally gain more freedom. The more bad choices we make, the more ensnared and trapped we become. As I talked with the girls, I thought about some of the people in my life who are in the latter group, or have been at some point or another. We can waste all our breath talking about everything or everyone in our life that make things difficult or even miserable, and it may even be true. But the only way we can have peace of any kind is to accept that the only thing we can do anything about is ourselves. It is our personal responsibility to grow and change and forge a meaningful relationship with the Savior. If we do that, we can have peace even in the most difficult of circumstances. If we don't, we'll never have a true, lasting peace even in the most tranquil of circumstances.
I remember one of the most difficult moments in my life, a moment where I was ready to give up and pack my bags and disappear, I made a plea that was, in essence, the same as the father of the child afflicted with a palsy, "Lord, help thou my unbelief". I opened my scriptures and the first verse I came to was Mosiah 24:14: "And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions." The Lord never said that, even if you're doing everything right, he'll take your burdens away. He simply promised that if you humbly turn to him, he'll help you carry them, and that makes them a whole lot lighter. I finally understood that whether or not I was happy and strong had nothing to do with my circumstances, but everything to do with me. What happens in our life is up to us. More often than we like to admit, when we are entrapped in a web of circumstances that we can't change, the fault rests on our own shoulders. Our Father can see the results of both, "Thy will be done" and "Alright, have it your way then", but he won't intervene to stop us when we choose the latter. It is up to us.
The last scripture in the lesson on agency was Galatians 5:1, "Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage." Christ sets us free, and at a terrible price. Yet over and over again we place ourselves in bondage through bad and unwise decisions. How very foolish and how horribly ungrateful!! I have often laughed in retrospect at what I thought would make me happy and didn't. I have often looked back, however, with fond gratitude, at times when I followed a prompting, even occasionally (I must be honest),somewhat begrudgingly thinking it wasn't what I wanted and how happy it made me in the end. We think we know what will make us happy (ha!), but the Lord really does. And he is ready and anxious to point us to peace and happiness if we will just humble ourselves long enough to listen. There is nothing he wants more than for us to be joyful and at peace. But we must come to him--he has indeed paid that terrible price for our agency--out of love--and so because of love, he will not rob us of the opportunity to use it. Ultimately, we are saved by grace after all we can do, but what we do is up to each one of us.
No comments:
Post a Comment