Friday, April 9, 2010


I love animals. If we ever increase our income in any substantial way, we will have horses. I'm thinking about getting another cat. We have a dog that goes with us almost as frequently as our children do, and sleeps on our bed half the time. But your dog is not as important as my kid. No dog is ever as important as any kid. To see the life of a dog and the life of a person (or the life of any animal and the life of a person) as equivalent in value is morally retarded. And I don't mean that as a casual insult, I mean it literally: if you believe that animals are just as important as people, I believe that your moral development has been impeded or halted in some manner.

I should never go into JoAnn's without adult supervision. It is supremely difficult to fight the urge to spend far more money than I should, and every where I look I am reminded of things I love but have put on hold the last few years due to time, space and expense. Its time to get the junk out of Kylie's room and into storage, bunkbeds set up for the older kids and the crib moved so that I can set up my sewing machine and have somewhere to store craft supplies. I must get back to my hobbies. Learning to knit was dumb--now there's another massive section of the store that tempts me.

Kylie is going to be trouble. As long as she gets her way at all times, she is an easy-going, happy, playful delight. But she glares more effectively than any toddler I've ever known. She usually cries or glares when she is told "no", but if she's tired or upset enough, she punches or slaps me. When we go into stores, instead of hiding in the clothing racks and knocking things down like a normal 16-month-old, she brings me frilly things and expects me to put them on her. Almost always, it is something pink or purple and there are frequently ruffles involved. Glaring commences when I refuse to immediately change her into the ruffle-butted aqua-with-white-polka-dot capris and puffy-sleeved pink shirt that she has brought me.

I can't "think locally" very well. I'm constantly trying to figure out how each new bit of information fits into the big picture, whether that means the big picture of someone's personality or the big picture of international politics. I always want more information so I can figure out where it "fits". Unfortunately, I'm not very good at that, except on occasion with spiritual subjects, but that's only because I have help on those. On the other hand, I can sometimes get so hung up on a particular example or situation that the principle goes right over my head for a while. I find this incredibly annoying about myself.

I need to start putting deadlines on myself for writing projects, or I'm never going to develop the way I want to, and this blog will be my biggest accomplishment. I must get going if I'm going to publish that book that's going to make us all that money for that big house with room for the horses (outside, of course--we don't intend to keep horses in the house).

I've discovered that I am incredibly impatient when I think someone I love isn't getting a fair shake, and I have about as much patience as a hungry bear with behavior I perceive as selfish or vapid.

1 comment:

Becky said...

I completely agree about the animal thing. It is an animal, not a human. My sister won't get rid of her cats even though one of the kids is allergic to it. I think she is crazy.