I was right!

My sister Christina (West, not Umphrey:) ) had her baby this morning.  She had a little girl!!  They didn't find out, so we all took guesses, and I was one of the few who guessed correctly, so I'm pretty jazzed:)   Alexandra Bailey West (I believe that's all spelled right) was born around 10 this morning, measuring 20 inches long and weighing 6 pounds, 13 ounces (almost a full pound bigger than her brother was!).  She is a cutie.  She definitely has her momma's big, pretty mouth and though I didn't see them (she was a little too wrapped up and I didn't want to disturb her) she apparently has beautiful piano player hands.  I was surprised to see that, even though she was only about 4 hours old when I met her, she was already very round and pink, rather than squished and blotchy:)

Christa actually looked pretty good herself.  She was able to have a natural delivery, even though she had an emergency c-section with her first baby.  Sounds like things went pretty smoothly, overall, and I'm glad she was able to delivery vaginally.  All Katy's kids were mostly problem-free regular deliveries, but the previous 7 births among her daughters had all, for one reason or another, been c-sections.  Way to break the trend, Christa!!  

Anyway, just wanted to share the happy news with everyone.  I think her nickname is going to be either Alexa or Alex, though I'm not sure which.  Its about time we got some girls around here.  Keilana's been the only one for so long!  Well, we've got two more coming next month, I guess.  Wish us luck!

Frequently Asked Questions

Questions I am tired of answering all the time, and my responses.

How old are you?

24.  Yes, really.  No, its ok, I understand that that's hilarious because 1984 is the year you started middle school/finished HS/came home from your mission/etc.

Doesn't going barefoot hurt your feet?

No.  Think logically here--unless you think I'm a masochist (and only a few of you do), why on earth would I persist in a behavior that was painful?  I like feeling the dirt or grass under my feet, I tend to have more careful and surer footing on uneven ground, and my feet hate being hot and cramped in shoes.

Is Dylan always like that?

Yeah, pretty much.

Do you always talk like that?

No.  I almost never talk like that. I write like that and had everything I said written down.  In conversation, I generally use only half my vocabulary and very little real emotion, I giggle too frequently and for no good reason, and I don't think--or rather, express--on my feet very well.

Where do your kids get their red hair?

From the recessive genes carried by both myself and my husband.  I don't have time to go over the basic genetics, but trust me, they're in there.

Is  your family Catholic?

No.  My family is LDS for multiple generations on most lines, though they have struggled with inactivity, which I occasionally imply.  Any comments from my husband about my mother being Catholic or being raised Catholic should be dismissed as the silly jokes that they are.

Wouldn't it be cool if you had twins?

Don't make me slap you.

Are you and your brother identical or fraternal twins?

Identical twins are just that--genetically identical.  I know this is a difficult concept, so pay attention.  Michael and I have at least one HUGE genetic difference:  he is male and I am female.  We are from two different eggs and two different sperm.   Identical twins are from one fertilized egg that splits, therefore making it impossible for there to be both X and Y chromosomes.  While Michael certainly holds a special place in my heart, we are no more genetically alike than any of the rest of my siblings (actually less genetically alike than my sisters and I).

Isn't all that hair hard to take care of?

No. I have long hair largely due to tress laziness.  I wash it, I brush it and I leave it alone. I may braid it or put it in a pony tail.  I don't have to style it on a daily basis or maintain a haircut.

Can I see your phone?

Sure.

Progress!!

I feel like I'm actually getting somewhere!!  Last week, we started cleaning out the garage, taking things to Goodwill and throwing stuff out.  I went through the kids' toys one day while Keilana was at school and Dylan was occupied on the computer, and sent a whole bag of toys to Goodwill, as well as some old books, etc.   Doug has been using our 4th bedroom as a shop, which is slightly annoying just because it didn't have a lot of space for him to work and when he wanted to use things like saws and such after bedtime, it kept the kids awake (and kept Dylan very intrigued by power tools. . .ugh).   

So, now that we've gotten rid of a few things, we are working on making a switch.  Doug's work table and the majority of his tools are down in the garage now (where he is currently building me a pretty new oak coffee table).   There are a few more things he needs to get down there, which I'm sure he'll be happier about doing once he gets some pegboard hung up so he has somewhere to put his tools away.  Then, I can vacuum out the extra bedroom, stack up the extra boxes from the garage (hopefully getting them on some utility shelves soon).  Once that's done, we will have some more usable space, for visiting friends or play space.  Maybe I'll even do some sewing if there's space to set up a machine. :)

Today I got Doug's bass amp and speaker unit moved over into the corner by the desk with his guitar and bass, so there is actually nice, clean space by our bed to put up our crib.  Now if I could just manage to get the crib here from Amanda's, we'll be in business!! That was quite an accomplishment, because I had to move our desk over (a solid wood behemoth that's about 3 feet deep and four and half feet long), and those amps are no feather-lite things themselves.  I also got our infant seat and baby swing out of the garage, stuck all the removable parts in the washing machine and cleaned up all the rest.  They both look suitable for actually placing a baby in.

I've got out all 0-3 month size baby girl clothes.  When Mom and Sisterbella came down, she brought me a bag of random baby clothes. She wasn't entirely sure what all was in it, but it turns out there were several 3 month sleepers (as well as some great Grizwear!).  This is tremendously helpful, as Keilana was born in June and spent her first three months in Hawaii and California so she was scarcely ever clothed, let alone in anything heavier than a short sleeved onesie.  I still need to get a few sleepers and onesies and hats (oh yeah, and socks or booties--cold little feet!), but a friend of mine recently offered to throw a baby shower for me (because she's just awesome like that!), so I'll probably wait and see what I get there before I do any shopping.  Particularly since I haven't done any Christmas shopping yet!  

I'm still trying to get everything clean--the worst part, because a part of me can't ever relax because things aren't tidy yet.  I organized our closet yesterday, throwing some things out and getting everything else arranged in a way that actually made sense.  It looks SO much better.  Next I've got to get the blinds and windows upstairs cleaned (they are so dusty), but fortunately I was able to clean all the ones downstairs last month, and they still look pretty good.  I was able to clean out behind the stove and refrigerator a few weeks ago, but I still need to clean the oven and the fridge out.  Once we've finished rearranging boxes from the garage (a few of which are stacked in our dining room), I can rent a carpet cleaner and shampoo our carpets.  I am very much looking forward to that, because I cannot stand dirty carpets.  No matter how clean I get the house, I never feel like its really clean as long as the carpet needs to be cleaned.  

But once I've checked those items off my list, all we've got to do is set up the crib (and get that beautiful quilt out!), buy some diapers and get decorated for Christmas.  How I look forward to a being in a very organized, very clean house decorated for my most favorite of holidays, nestled down on the couch with new little baby in my arms, all in the glow of holiday lights.  

Three weeks til my due date, and 4 1/2 weeks at most until we welcome Kylie (and hopefully have everything else done).  Whew!

If you can't make them see the light

Friday evening, Doug and I went up and did a temple session with our good friends Kindon and Angie.  We haven't done a session together in months, so it was just nice to be there, and the company made it that much better.  A delicious dinner at PF Chang's afterward didn't hurt the experience much either.

I've been needing something for months (as evidenced by all the whining and frustration in my blogs), but I had overlooked the need, instead blaming everything on fatigue and pregnancy hormones and stressful situations at work and in our social lives.  While all those things have certainly been reasonable and significant concerns, I have been craving time in the temple.  Its just that I have been so muddled, I had trouble recognizing that craving.  I have felt a bit renewed, much more relaxed and tremendously more at peace in the last two days than all of the last two months combined.  I needed that for myself, and my husband and children need that from me, as we all prepare to expand our family circle and possibly make even more changes.  It is true that no matter what's going on with everyone else, the tone of the home is set by the wife and mother, and the feeling in our home the last few days has been much more peaceful.  How grateful I have been to be able to give that back to my family, as it has been missing far too frequently in recent weeks.

On the car ride there and back and over dinner, conversation ranged all over the place--the recent election (and fall out from Prop 8), mutual friends, family stories, kids and parenting, etc--but at one point, we began talking about a mutual acquaintance who has struggled to get his act together his whole life and whose situation has recently taken a major turn for the worse.

The crux of the conversation was about helping vs. enabling.  Doug hates enabling behavior and becomes quickly aggravated and upset at anything he perceives as such, or anyone he sees displaying that type of behavior.  He has experienced far too personally what one person enabling another's bad habits can do not only to an individual but to a family, and all those affected by the line of dominoes that runs from that individual.  I understand the compulsion to feel like if I just do a little more, if I just "help" a little bit longer, things will change.  But one of the most difficult and painful lessons I have ever had to learn is that there is no helping someone who doesn't want help.  Not someone who says they want help, but someone whose behavior demonstrates a true desire to change, to grow, no matter how painful or difficult that must be.  The truth is, we don't help someone, not really, by shielding them from the consequences of their actions.

I understand that often being an enabler comes from a desire to be Christlike, to be a safe harbor for someone, a shelter from the storm.  While certainly eternally Christ saves us from the consequences of our own actions--that is what the Atonement is, really--He does so only after we take full responsibility for those actions (or inactions).  Only when we feel true Godly sorrow and understand the gravity of what we have done does that Atonement apply.  And in this world, as we are still in the midst of making our mistakes, often the kindest and most merciful thing the Lord does for us is let us get a bit drenched by the rain and parched by the heat.  

We can aspire to lofty ideals all we want (and I certainly am working towards ideals I believe in), but the simple fact of the matter is that human beings are primarily driven by the desire to obtain pleasure or avoid pain.  If someone is constantly trying to save us from the pain or discomfort our own actions may cause us, the sad truth is very few of us would have much motivation to change our behavior.  That's human nature.  Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone you love is to step back and let them fall flat on their face.   The thing about hitting rock bottom is that you've got nowhere to go but up.  Now, its true that some people will just sit there.  But most people will eventually get sick of the dark and misery and start climbing.  That's when its time for a hand up.

While I love Ronald Reagan, he's not generally someone I quote when it comes to spiritual topics.  One of his more famous sayings, though, I think applies here:  "If you can't make them see the light, then let them feel the heat."  When someone is in a pattern of destructive behavior, we try to help by guiding them to true principles.  But if they won't have any of that, the next best thing we can do is have enough faith that if we hold their feet to the fire, they'll start making those changes.

New Clark

Literally.  Just wanted to let everyone know that Doug's sister, Melissa (the one not pictured in the Halloween lineup), had her little boy today.  Poor girl was a week and half overdue, induced last night, and had a c-section this afternoon.  But it sounds like everybody's doing really well now. 

Clark Abrahm McDonald (I think that's how Katy spelled it to me on the phone) weighs 7lbs, 8 oz, is 20 inches long and is a healthy boy!  Congrats to Melissa and Nate!  I'm sure they're glad that their little boy has arrived healthy and that she's finally no longer pregnant:)

Signs of Winter

As most of you are aware, I have been (quite impatiently) awaiting the arrival of winter, or at least a real fall.  Here are a few signs from the last few days that winter is indeed on its way.

1. Stomach flu.   Saturday we went to Visalia to pick up a few things from Target and gas up at Costco ($2.43! Woohoo! We may buy a few Christmas presents after all!), and Doug decided to pull into A&W's drive thru to treat us all to a cold rootbeer (so yummy).  So we're driving along, everybody happily sipping away at their soda, when all the sudden Dylan starts spewing half-digested goldfish crackers everywhere (since that is the only thing he'd eaten all day).  All over his shirt and pants, booster seat, hat (which was unfortunately sitting right next to him), and the seat of the car.  He holds up his disgusting hands and, in a rather distressed tone, tells me, "Look! Yuck! Look!!"  Since he was so upset, we decided to stop at Walmart and buy him some cheap clothes and clean up the car seat a bit so he didn't have to ride home like that.  This was quite a sacrifice, as we both despise Walmart (you know all those trashy stereotypes you hear about Walmart? In California, they're all true).  So I tried to clean everything up as best I could while Doug ran in and got a shirt and some pants.

Ok, so we think we've solved the problem.  He's clean, seems fine for a few hours and I think, "Just a fluke.  Too much Halloween candy."   Still, when we get home, all he would put in his mouth was water or milk.  So about two or three hours after the first incident, we're in the livingroom, and he starts spewing curdled milk.  And walking back and forth like he's trying to get away from it instead of just standing still til he has stopped puking.  Then he holds up his hands to me (once again unfortunate casualties) and says, "Loo-ho-ho-hoook!!!" as he starts to cry.  I tell him its ok and say, "Do you want to go get in the tub?"  To which he responds with a sad but enthusiastic "Yes!"  He's all better now.  Poor guy was not happy about it (neither was my livingroom carpet or my husband, who was charged with cleaning up the livingroom carpet while I cleaned up the child).

2.  Head cold.   I was a lot more tired than usual the last few days, but I just attributed it to the fact that I seem to get bigger and more uncomfortable by the hour.  The real reason was, however, made very obvious this morning when I woke up with a stuffy nose, scratchy throat, pressure headache, droopy eyes and mild nausea.  Some Sudafed seems to be mostly doing the trick. . .or at least making me feel better than I did.  I hate colds when I'm pregnant.  

3.  Cold weather.   As late as last week, we were still hitting the mid to high 80s some days.  This disgusts me, as I have not been hesitant to share.  But this weekend we had some serious rain (we could see the Sierras and the coastals!!!!) and this morning when I walked the kids to school it was a delightfully nippy 45 degrees.  For most of the rest of the week, the highs are supposed to be in the mid-to-high 60s, climbing to around 70 over the weekend.  I can handle that.  It was so nice to be able to see my breath this morning.  

4.  Fog.   It was also foggy for the first time this morning when I walked the kids to school.  Fog here is akin to the first dusting of snow in Montana.  This morning it was a light fog, but in the middle of winter, it can be rather thick and oppressive (one morning last December, I couldn't see McDermont from Dylan's room--a huge steel building literally across the street).  White Christmases here are foggy ones, rather than snowy ones.   If the fog is rolling in, it means the holidays are, too, and that excites me.

So it seems that winter may be on its way after all.  And though the first two signs were not pleasant ones, the second two more than make up for them and keep me excited and anxious for Thanksgiving, then a new baby and then a Christmas in our home with our three children, nestled inside our warm house while the cold wet fog surrounds everything outside.  Its not snow, but I'll take it.

Halloween!!

We had a pretty darned good Halloween.  Keilana was Ariel this year (she declared months ago that this would be the case and never wavered) and it was Dylan's turn in the Tigger suit.  Keilana got to go trick-or-treating in the morning during preschool, and her favorite stop was definitely the firehouse--they gave her a sticker and a frisbee, which was so much cooler than the candy she got everywhere else.  So by noon she already had a fair amount of loot.  We made a stop at the ward party for dinner, but didn't stay for the games and stuff. Halloween is also my mother-in-law's birthday, so we always head over to her house.  When we got there, Tim, Paul, Christa and Rachel were just heading out to do a round of trick-or-treating and they took our kids along for us.  I very much appreciated that, because I had already eaten too much sugar and it was very muggy last night, so my hands, feet and face were all much puffier than usual.

They got a pretty good haul and the kids all had fun together.  Taylor was a very beautiful Rapunzel (and a very tall one! man she's getting big), Clayton was Baby Jaguar, and Keith was a most adorable little scarecrow.   This was his first year trick or treating.  Later in the evening, Keith and Keilana jammed out pretty good to our Barenaked Ladies children's album.  They are both dancers! And Keith was so hopped up on sugar that he was kinda hitting the delirious point and he was so funny.  

We ended up staying at Chuck and Katy's til about 1:30 (everyone else managed to leave by 9:30 or so, but apparently we were feeling blabby).  Keilana eventually asked for a blanket and put herself to bed on the couch, but Dylan of course was going strong right up til we left.  He thinks Halloween is all about the suckers (his favorite candy, and one I rarely let him have), so he was falling asleep in the car on the way home nursing his giant Tootsie Pop.  So here's just a few highlights of the evening:

One of the things Keilana was most excited about was getting to wear Mommy's makeup.  Doesn't she look pretty? :)
Posing in her Ariel costume before we head out for the night's festivities.  She told everyone, "I got it at Target!" (If you talk to Keilana for more than 20 minutes any day, you will likely hear something about Target).
Dylan had a sucker of some kind in his mouth pretty much all night (long after the costume and shoes had been ditched).
Clayton and Keith check out some of their loot.  As Christa said, it looks like they're getting ready to make a trade.
Dylan and Keith are an interesting combo, because they are both very weird, in very different ways.
She's such a poser!  If the camera comes out, she's cheesin' !
Have you seen those Got Milk?  White Gold commercials?  You know, with the rocker who plays a guitar made of milk?  Paul put on Taylor's Rapunzel wig, and that's what we thought of right away.
Christa and I belly-to-belly.  She's due either Nov 2 or Nov 8 (they changed her due date on her) and I'm due Dec 2
Lining up the three bellies.  Amanda is due Christmas Day.  We should get a picture of Melissa and Photoshop her in! (Katy was having trouble figuring out our camera, so all the shots are in between our posed moments.  We're all making kind of funny faces in all of them!)