PS

My mom's gonna be here tomorrow night. We're taking all the wild things to see Where the Wild Things Are (the top favorite book in our house. Always). Maybe heading to the beach. Possibly going blind from over-exposure to pure awesomeness.

Hiding

I'm at the computer with the door to my bedroom closed, and no one is pounding on it.

Yet.

I'm hiding for a few minutes

because I'm afraid if I don't

I might decide on a whim

to send Keilana to a boarding school

or Ginger to a farm.

I'll keep Dylan, though, I suppose.

We have an understanding.

And Kylie.

Because, seriously, she's just a piece of cake.

But the other girls and I--

we're gonna have to work something out.

Morning in Zion

A little taste. . .

This little lady was a delight, and a real trooper, considering she got sick halfway through our trip. In fact, Daddy got sick before we left, Cheeks got sick while we were there, and Mommy got sick on the way home. So we didn't even do the hike we drove to Utah to do. But we had a great time anyway. More to come.

Almost forgot to mention

Kylie Bear took her first steps today! She was holding onto the TV table and I was kneeling next to here and held my hands out for her to come to me, so she took three big steps right into my arms!!! A little while later I motioned to her when she was holding onto the coffee table and she smiled and took five or six steps to me! It'll be a couple more weeks before she's doing it regularly I imagine, but by Halloween I'll bet she's a pro:)

I can't believe she's going to be 10 months this next Monday. Where does the time go? She's such a delightful little thing. So calm and gentle. Every now and then she starts chatting or hollers at us a bit, but she's mostly very quiet and smiley (or practicing her "Oooohhh" face, or her scrunchy-nosed, squint-eyed face she's so fond of lately). She is affectionate and very attached to both Doug and me. She loves to play with her brother and sister, and is starting to figure out how to "wrestle" with Dylan. I can put pigtails in her hair now and she says "Mama" when she wants me. *Tear* They grow up so fast!!

Lists

All the baby stuff I own:

nearly-expired infant car seat

a baby swing

single stroller

double stroller

crib

about 5 toys (rattles, teething rings, musical objects)

All Keilana's toys:

stuffed animals

dress-up clothes (a fair amount)

tea set

4 barbies

a couple of cell phones

Cooties

Candyland

some odds and ends Happy Meal-type toys

All Dylan's toys:

several dress-up hats

a couple swords

small bucket of matchbook size cars/trains/planes

small bucket of action figures

5 large cars/trains (size of a shoebox)

half a dozen rubber animals

small toy tool set

small band-in-a box set

wooden blocks

giant Legos

Crawl N Play pop up tent and tunnel

These are literally all the baby items/toys in our house. I was taking inventory this week because for the first time ever, Keilana has told me she doesn't have enough toys. We have never bought our kids lots of "stuff". It started when they were babies. I've never had a "tummy time" mat, a bouncer, a jumperoo, a nursing pillow, a bumbo, or the other thousand things that just about everyone else I know has. Its not that I don't want them--I'm sure they'd be great to have. But the first two babies we were very broke/severely limited on space/about to move, so we bought only essentials (my mom generously picked up the swing for me when she came down for Dylan's birth, and it was a lifesaver! Trying to pack with a 20 month old and an infant is challenging). So by the time I had baby #3, it was like, well, do I really need any of that?

Christmas and birthdays they get a few presents. When we do spend money on them (or at all, frivolously) it is almost always in order to go do something. Keilana has an annual Disneyland pass, for Pete's sake. They have always been perfectly content with the toys they have and the fact that they have a built-in play mate in one another. The first few Christmases, when they were too little to know the difference or care how much they got, we either didn't spend much money, instead focusing on budgeting and growing student loan debt, or spent that money on things for family members or friends. They have wonderful imaginations and are often able to entertain one another for long periods of time with random household objects. One hour they're robots, the next they're bats, and so on and so forth. I didn't see much need for more stuff. I've been meaning to collect more craft supplies, as crafts are one of Keilana's favorite activities and are slowly growing on Dylan.

I thought that I'd squeak by with a few more years before the requests for "stuff" started, but alas, the time has come. So if anyone has ideas for good Christmas presents for a five year old girl, I'm open to suggestions.

Bear with me

Do you ever have one of those days where you just feel like you're done? Just want to pack up and move away and go somewhere new and fresh? Done with relationship tightropes, with misconceptions, over-sensitivity and feeling like you always get it wrong? Done with work hassles, with projects that never seem to end and deadlines that are always too close or too far away? Done with your house and the never-ending list of projects that rarely ever gets started, much less finished? Done with your tattered wardrobe that you're so ready to replace? Done with your little town and its unique and yet all too typical dramas and challenges? Just done? Ready to stop trying and just retreat because it seems like you always end up feeling frustrated and looking stupid/clueless/arrogant/thoughtless/self-righteous/insert-appropriate-adjective-here, even though you know you're very consciously and nearly constantly trying really hard? Just done, done, done and ready to be a hermit or move somewhere far away and not tell anyone where you went?

Sometimes you're having that day, and out of the blue a friend calls you or text messages you. Just wants to hang out. And just that simple act of thoughtful kindness, just taking the kids to the park together and having lunch, reminds you not only of how grateful you are for that friend, but for everyone else in your life. One simple act is sometimes all it takes to remind you why you walk those tightropes, why that's always the right thing to do and ultimately worth it (and why you hope that some day it won't be a tightrope any more). An easy conversation reminds you why that job is so important and why you love it so much. Coming back to your nice, clean house after spending the whole afternoon somewhere else reminds you why you're so grateful to own a home. And passing by some familiar faces on the walk home reminds you that you are lucky and blessed to be a part of your little community, drama and all.

I'd walk any tightrope, work any hours at any job, live in any broken down shack if it means I will always be blessed in return with such marvelous friends.

"I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends." ~Walt Whitman