Ah, refreshed

I was hitting that Mama-needs-a-meltdown moment near the end of last week. The last few months have been insane (I know I say that a lot, but its always true; the last three years have been insane!) and all of the reality finally caught up with me. And almost two straight months of sick at our house were starting to make me loopy. Then I got sick, and had to deal with a few other emotionally taxing things at the same time. I hadn't had a break from all three of my kids at once since New Year's evening, and before that since July. It'd been raining almost constantly for two weeks. I'd had it. I made some grumpy remark to Doug. He looked at me and said, "You need to get better!" I half-laughed, half-whimpered, "I know!"

You see, for all the insanity swirling around and through our lives, I usually really am quite even-tempered and upbeat. Patient even. I struggle to ever ask for help of any kind from any one and hate anyone to ever see anything but happy and content. Its a blessing and a curse. I have my moments, where I snip at my husband or lose my patience with my kids, but they really are usually few and far between. The vast majority of my whining/complaining/ exasperating is reserved for my blog. But I wasn't terribly pleasant this week.

Monday, Doug came home for his lunch, and then suggested that when Keilana got out of school that afternoon we drop off the kids and disappear. Amanda agreed to take them on short notice and kept them all afternoon until bedtime for us--fed them dinner, got them bathed and in PJs. She's awesome. I love her. I can't begin to tell you how fantastic and fun and thoughtful and splendid she's been the last 8 months--I'm so glad she's my sister. Anyway, we drove Yokohl Valley, enjoyed the green hills and overcast afternoon and then wandered to Visalia and Tulare to do a little much-needed kitchen shopping. I love being able to wander around stores without my short people. We had Chili's salads for dinner. And got home just in time to put kids to bed and just enjoy an evening knitting in front of the TV.

Yesterday, Emily, a very dear friend of mine, texted me at about 3 o'clock: "We're going out tonight. Do you guys want to come?" I called Doug, who drove to Tulare and picked up Brad so he could sit with the kids. We went to Visalia with Clint and Emily and Kindon and Angie and had dinner at Fugazzi's (sweet potato fries to die for. so delicious.). Great friends, great conversation. Adult interaction. So important. I never had a very hard time being alone--I was often a little too content to have conversations with the people in my head. But being alone with kids all the time is very much different than just being alone. I'm starting to feel human again. I should try to make a habit of this.