Friday, April 26, 2013

That sinking feeling. . .

I found out this morning that the young son of a girl I met last week was pulled out of a pool, unconscious, given CPR and life-flighted to an area hospital yesterday.

As soon as I saw the post, my heart sank down into my stomach.  Even when I found out that it looks like he's probably going to be OK in the long run, my heart just kept sitting there, at the bottom of my stomach.

It doesn't happen very often any more, but every once in a while something happens that just throws me, emotionally, right back into where I was on that afternoon 6 years ago:  some strange, horrible combination of panicked, horribly sad, sick to my stomach, blurry with tears, and yet somehow in disbelief.  A pressing feeling that I have to do something--I can't possibly be this helpless, powerless, resigned to this fate.  Trying to accept all over again that there are some things I cannot stop, cannot change, and just live with that knowledge and try our best to move on together.

A little jab at my heart that reminds me that some thoughts will always bring tears, and some heart breaks never entirely heal in this world.

1 comment:

Christa said...

dang it, just reading that first sentence was heart wrenching enough. sudden flashback and instant tears. sometimes the hurts never go away.